


why it spelled like that?

by melizza



Category: Original Work
Genre: Comedy, Humor, Other, idk man, if you found this somehow, putting it here so it has somewhere to go, standup, this is a short standup scripty-thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:41:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23822506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melizza/pseuds/melizza
Summary: I put this here because it has nowhere else to go.a short standup for a comedy routine
Kudos: 3





	why it spelled like that?

Hello, I’m here tonight because my mother said I couldn’t do this ten years ago, and irony is my favorite literary device.

No, everything is irony. Think about it. Anything you find funny, ever, at all, can be whittled down to irony. Think about it--here’s an example:

Jason Derulo.

Derulo. 

Some people may know that this is a lie.

Jason Derulo is Haitian. I am Haitian, and I know that a majority of Haitians have French descendancy. So it came as no surprise to me when  Jason Derulo  was revealed actually to be Jason Desrouleaux. I will sound that out. 

Jason. Des. Raoul. Eaux. Jason Desraouleauxsh. I was devastated, but hey! Material! But, I mean what a smart move on his part; I mean, he knew we couldn’t read. Can you imagine the questions he would get?

“Oh, hi, I’ve reserved this venue for tonight.”

“Cool, name?”

“Oh, uh,,,,, Jason Deszhrrrhouleauxsh.”

“Oh…..how do you...how would you spell that?”

[PAUSE]

HOW EMBARRASSING.

So many people have changed their name for show business and to all of them I’d like to say I’m sorry, and thank you so much. I mean, not even the obvious ones like Lady Gaga or Grimes, but like the Peter Gene Hernandez’s/Neta-Lee Herschlag’s. That is hard to remember and bad for show business. 

Bruno Mars/Natalie Portman, however…

I do feel bad for their parents. It must be a real bummer, before they’re even famous, to have your kid come up to you and be like “Mom, I’m dropping out of college to become who I am!” And you’re like, worried, because your kid’s got a good thing going for them in doctor school, but you wanna be supportive, so you go “Oh, honey, what is that? I’ll support you!” and they tell you “I wanna be Lady Gaga!”

[PAUSE]

How weird does that sound? Keep in mind, there is no Lady Gaga yet. There is only Stefani Germanotta and her dreams. I mean, when the kid is famous, anything goes, but for now…

Pick something safe.

Like Natalie Portman.

  
  



End file.
